ForeverMaybe

Back when we added the messaging control feature, we turned on the ‘Say Hi’ checkbox by default. We did this as a stopgap measure, to deal with the influx of scammers that we were fighting. As we’ve gained experience in dealing with them, we have developed more tools and added capabilities to the system to help automate some of what we’ve been doing by hand. This makes the ‘Say Hi’ requirement less needed, so we’re going to turn it off by default.

If you look on the messaging control panel, the ‘Say Hi’ checkbox mentioned above is really: “People can only message me if I have ‘Said Hi’ to them first”. What this means, if it is checked, is that people can’t just send you messages out of the blue. We turned this on because some early scammers were sending a dozen people copy-and-pasted messages soliciting things (emailing off site, help for their poor family member, etc.).

We needed this short term, until we put more tools in place to deal with the scammers. The downside is that it was really cutting down on communication between people. So we’ve decided to switch it off again by default.

This is a one time change, so if you like the ‘Say Hi’ restriction, you can easly add it back by going to Settings or Edit Profile, then clicking the Messaging tab. We’re sorry for any inconvenience. Of course, it wouldn’t be a beta if there weren’t hitches like this.

Part of the reason for loosening messaging restrictions is that we’re experimenting with some more tools to identify and delete scammers. They’re far from perfect right now, so don’t be surprised if an occasional profile slips through and you get a message from them.

We would rather err on the side of caution and let a few scammers through at first versus being too aggressive and deleting legitimate user profiles. As soon as they give enough information to tip us off, they’re usually deleted within a day or so.

So please bear with us as we add more tools to combat the scammers. The big downside of a free site is that it is a magnet for people like this (no credit card means anyone can sign up at no cost). We’ve got a few more things we’ll be adding soon and then we’ll be switching back to primary site features. Thanks for your patience.

One of the unique features of FM is the interests-based forum system. It’s a unique feature that you won’t find anywhere else. The great thing about it is that you create a forum just by adding an interest to your profile. If you like Gardening, you’ve added yourself to the Gardening forum. If you like Variegated Bromeliads… well, you’re probably the only one, so you won’t be added to the forum. Instead, just by adding the interest, you’ll create a new forum on Variegated Bromeliads. This is a powerful feature. The downside is that until there is a large number of users, most of these forums will be lonely.

Do we’ve decided to do something different. We’re going to do the same thing as the other dating sites. We’re going to have a standard set of forums that follow the typical topics: Relationships, Dating Advice, etc. These forums are just like the ones that you can create. The only difference is that they are in the special Forums category and they have their own page where they’re listed. This will provide a central gathering place for people to begin discussions.

Over time, the interests-based forums will gather momentum. Until then, we’ll have the standard forums to fall back on.

We’ve spent the weekend deleting accounts in an effort to clean up the site. There are a number of scammers that had created bogus accounts and were spamming the legitimate members with unwanted messages. We apologize for that.

Our first effort to thwart the scammers was to add more message filtering options. Now, it’s easy to control exactly who can send messages and how. We’ve added a large number of options to give fine-grained control over the messaging system.

One of the important features is that no one can send you a message now unless you have sent them a ‘SayHi’ message. This option is enabled by default. Also, if you add a person to your favorites list, then they can message you.

If you don’t like these options, they’re easy to change. Just click on the Settings menu item, then go to the Messaging tab.

We’ve got many features planned to thwart the scammers. Many of them won’t be visible and will happen automatically in the background. Some of them will require help from other members (flagging a profile is an example). We also have some ideas about user authentication that we’ll share in the coming weeks.

You can now post a link to your status feed. The system will be able to recognize many different link types eventually. For now, we’ve added support for YouTube videos.

This feature makes it easier to share interests and preferences with other users. Posted links are visible on the home page as well as the profile page. As people start using the feature, it’ll be fun to browse profiles and see what people post.

The Internet is full of dating sites, so why another one? There seem to be two trends that evolved and stabilized early on in the evolution of online dating. The first is that a dating site is just a database of profiles with little ability to differentiate one from the other. The second is that every action beyond browsing profiles should be monetized. This seems wrong to us. With so much innovation happening on the Internet, why do we see so little in online dating?

Our first goal was to do the opposite of what we find with most pay sites. Many so-called “free” dating sites seem great when you first join–plenty of profiles, lots of pictures, etc. Only after you find someone that you’re interested in do you discover the truth: free to look, pay to play. So we’ve decided to make communication as open as possible and to make it free.

Not only can people message other users, but we’ve built a unique interest-based forum system that allows people to discover others who share their interests and to talk about them. A forum can be created on any topic, instantly. When a person says they’re interested in something or that they don’t like something else, a forum is created with them as a participant (if one didn’t already exist).

Our second goal is to give people more tools to tell others who they are. Profile details and pictures are fine. Why do so many sites stop there? It can be difficult to craft a one or two paragraph summary that really captures who a person is. It’s even more difficult to pour over hundreds of profiles and to divine what each other person might be like with so little to go on. Our response is to let people express more about who they are.

Not only do we have the interests system, but we have a chemistry test and a status feed. The chemistry test allows people to take a standardized personality test and to compare their results to others. The status feed lets each person share random thoughts and links with other users. This is similar to what several other social networking sites, like Twitter and Facebook, offer. If someone has a favorite song or scene in a movie, they can add a YouTube video to their feed. This will allow other people who view their profile to learn more about them. Maybe someone else really likes that song or scene.

In addition to seeing the status feed on a person’s profile page, when someone adds them as a favorite, they’ll see posts form that person on their home page along with their own posts. As they add more favorites and watch their status feed over time, they’ll begin to get a better idea about who each other person is. The status system is a low friction, low commitment way for people to communicate generally to others and to paint a better picture of who they are, in real time.

So, why ForeverMaybe? We want to bring online dating forward. We believe that online dating deserves more modern and compelling features. We want to make it easier and more fun for people to find their match.

We’ve launched the beta of ForeverMaybe. The core features are operational: profiles, messages, favorites, status updates, and interests forums. We have many changes planned, so keep checking back.

We’ll be using the blog to communicate to our users and to discuss upcoming changes and features we’re considering. We’d like you to voice your opinion as we go.

We hope that ForeverMaybe becomes the source of many meaningful relationships.